Hello im 17
Hello, im 17 and my girlfriend is 17. we have been together for over a year and a half know. she came into my life after i had an extremely bad breakup from someone who just used me and i was too scared of being alone to do anything about it. she left me for a completely stupid reason, but its irrelevant. i came to my senses and didn’t take her back when she begged.now im with my current girlfriend and she really has changed my life and how i see it. i was extremely depressed but found comfort in her and in metal music. everything was going great, but she didn’t really show me any feelings or show me how she felt. conversations were one sided and she only replied in words not sentences. i confronted her about this and she changed and things were better than before.then it went downhill. she got jealous a lot when i spoke to female friends. i understood why, since the female friends made it clear when things were on the rocks with my ex, that they were into me and would like to go out with me if me and my ex ever broke up. i didn’t see them as anything other than friends. when i started going out with my current girlfreind, my female friends would still flirt, even though i made it crystal clear i wasn’t into them. this made my girlfreind jelous and upset, so i stopped talking to my female friends. after all, relationsips are about sacrifices. things were good again up until about our 6 month anniversary. we had our first argument. it wasnt even about anything serious, like id made her jelous and didnt stop it or anything like that, we argued, because of metal, the music i like. she doesn’t like metal, fair does, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. then she told me why. when she was younger she was bullied by a boy who liked metal, he was what some would call "emo" or "goth" she linked him bullying her, to his preference in music. our first argument was that she wanted me to stop listening to it. as i lover her more than my own existance, i did. but then more arguments happened. about stupid, little and insignificant things, and they always ended in me appologising and either doing something else or stopping something, even though to this day i have not started a single argument in the duration of our relationship. i see it as she has her own opinion and i have mine, and there should be no conflict because of them. because of my view, im always the one to submit and sacrifice to make her happy. but, i found it was turning me to depression. i turned back to the source that got me through it before she came into my life. metal.id listen to it without telling her but i always felt ashamed and guilty. so last year, 4 days before christmas when she came to mine, i asked if i could listen to it again. we argued and she kept saying that everytime i used to tell her to listen to it, it upset her because it brought up the past of her being bullied. there have been other arguments in our relationship, and most have been about the past. my past. she doesn’t seem to want, or doesn’t seem to be capable of accepting that my past is in the past. i admit i hate my past, and if i was in her postition id hate it and be upset about it. thats why you forget about it and look to the future. but she never does. i said that doesnt the fact that her boyfriend (me) who loves her listened to it, prove that metal had nothing to do with her being bullied, as she seems to think all people who like metal are suicidal, self harming and violent. ive tried to explain to her that that isn’t true, but guess what, and argument. i have dropped the matter since christmas as my ipod blew up so i cant listen to music. i still do at home, but i dont tell her. we have just taken our first set of a level exams and its taken its toll on her. she became stressed and i did everything i could to confort her and make her see that its all ok and i will always be there for her. it seemed to be working until this week.this week has been a nightmare for her, literally. i am somewhat accident prone, and on more than 5 occasions i have fallen and been momenterily paralised. as this is in my past, she gets upset when it is brought up. on monday she had a nighmare about it and hasnt had a different dream sinse, it has been haunting her. on top of that, we have more exams so we have to fit studying in with all the homework we are given. all adding to the stress she feels. the cherry on top of the cake, is her family. they always seem to upset her and i have no idea why they never stop and see they are. her mum and brothers are over controling, and i think its rubbing off on her so she does it to me. they have upset her every day this week and she is becoming depressed. i feel so useless as i have no idea what to do sinse everything i try fails.please help me with this, how can i help her? and please give me advise about the arguing and jelousy and such. thank
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